Thoughts…

Would it still be ‘not that bad’ if I kill myself?

Would people still try and make comments about ‘blowing things out of proportion’ if I just disappeared?

Would my depression be valid if I killed myself? 

Would you even notice if I just wasn’t around anymore? 
Even when I point blank, matter of factly talk about my feelings of hopelessness, grief, sorrow, emptiness and sucidal thoughts, my “depression” isn’t depression depression and I can handle it…

I can’t. I don’t want to. Why am I not good enough, why are my feelings not validated. Why do I even bother….

2 thoughts on “Thoughts…

  1. It’d be terrible if you killed yourself. 😞 Who said that it wouldn’t be? That’s awful.

    Reading this post, I could reflect on a lot them on my own. Depression is difficult as hell to live with. I know it, you know it and others know it.

    But you’re here, you’re writing and I honestly like reading what you have to say. It means you’re strong and surviving.

    Some of the context, I’m not sure what it’s referring to, but I doubt you’re blowing anything out of proportion. You’re fighting a battle no one knows about and that not everyone can see. The fact that you’re here today makes all the difference. 😃

    I know it’s hard and it feels like it’s getting worse every day, but that’s just the Depression trying to consume us. Stay strong, keep doing what you’re doing, keep writing. I hope that you’ll feel better, soon!

    Liked by 1 person

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