Sounds simple enough. It’s a great thing to put in your diary once every few months.
There is a problem though. This task with mental illness becomes very hit and miss. You can start it with all the greatest intentions in the world, and you may even complete it! Go you! However, I tend to find that I get about halfway and then it creeps in…’Don’t throw that doohickey you’ve had for ten years and never found a use for, you’ll probably need it tomorrow if you do.’
Then every other item you try to sort becomes a burden. A fight with yourself on whether you really do need to keep it, or whether you are being irrational – because your brain is telling you it IS worth keeping, deep down you know it’s just clutter.
This past weekend I set myself the goal of sorting through my crafting stuff and doing a little bit of a re-jig of my room to give me a bit more space and to feel a little less like I am trapped in a box. BIG MISTAKE! I am a crafter – an artist and have been
collecting hoarding! creative materials for well over 15 years!
I’ve been at it for days, I have been successful in some respects and have condensed it down by about a third! Yay! It’s just that now I have piles of things to sort and house, zero motivation & barely any space to put anything. Argh!
The voice is there telling me to just shove it all in a box for next time. Push it out of sight out of mind. My gut is telling me to just get it sorted. This is what happens. It becomes more overwhelming by the minute and soon becomes something that is more hassle than it’s worth. How do people do it?! I always get to this point, despite how much I tell myself I won’t. It’s so frustrating. I used to set myself a task of sorting and work my way through it, rationally, and bam job done. No problemo.
Now I just feel overwhelmed, burdened by stuff and completely at a loss. Almost certainly worse off than I was before I started. How can I throw a buttload of things away and end up with less space. It just doesn’t make sense. I’m stuck in some weird other dimension and I don’t like it.
I don’t have a tiny room by any means. I just happen to have a room that is my bedroom, where my dog also predominantly lives, a fish tank(100l on a cupboard!) and my whole entire creative business is housed – complete with packaging products! There’s probably somewhere in the region of 3000 envelopes in my room! Sheesh!
It’s ridiculous. So who wants to come finish it for me?
Ugh fine. I will do it then. *sigh*