Conquering Demons

I hear this so much. You need to conquer your demons. You’ll be better once you get them off your back. People say this like us mental illness sufferers haven’t heard it before. It’s about as useful as telling someone who is clinically depressed to ‘cheer up’
We know there are demons in our lives, we know that it’s ‘in our heads’ considering it’s a problem with our brains. 
We need people to offer support, not to offer solutions. Sometimes we just need to let it all out, clear a little quiet corner of our noisy, busy minds. 
Ask if there’s anything you can do, or if listening is enough. Don’t try and tell me to get more exercise, to eat better, to do this and that because you hear it works for Sally up the road. 
I’m drowning lately, my demons are gripping me by the throat and holding me underwater, the last thing I need is someone telling me that I can fix it if I just try this & that. 
I very nearly ended my life last night. The exhaustion is overwhelming. The emptiness is overwhelming. Everything is overwhelming. If it wasn’t for me being held up by a stranger who wanted to talk about my dog, I probably wouldn’t even be sitting here typing this right now.
People say they’re proud of how far I’ve come, little do they know, I’m struggling more now than ever. 

One thought on “Conquering Demons

  1. So sorry you’re struggling. Have you found any support groups online for those with this disorder? In addition to helping yourself, sharing can help others. Not sure your beliefs, but God is always there (even if you don’t feel like it) lovingly waiting for you to turn to Him. He wants to grant you peace and hope. God bless you.

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