The good, the bad and the ugly..

When you live with a mental illness or two, you find that things ebb and flow. Like the pull of the moon on the ocean. 

 Certain things can lift your mood right up and other things drag it so far down. Many people struggle most with the latter. No one really likes a low mood, whether you’re ‘

depressed’ or not, but some people actually struggle with the lighter side of things.

 You see, having depression does funny things to your brain, you begin to think that you shouldn’t ever be feeling happy if you have depression. When you’re coming out of a low slump and feel that little burst of ‘today isn’t that bad’ it can make you feel like a fraud.

Like your diagnosis, ‘your label’ is the be all and end all of your existence and that you should always fit into that stereotype. 

When people say things like ‘you don’t look depressed’ it could be fatal. That person may already be at the end of their tether. Using all the spare energy they can muster to put on a brave face and go out that day and you’ve just crushed everything with 4 little words. 

If you know someone with depression, or someone opens up about their mental illness, try to think before you make a flippant remark. Try ‘how are you doing?’ Or ‘do you need anything?’ 

Those 4 words can make a difference for the better – this gives you one person that cares. One person that is there for you that day and sometimes that is all it takes to change the mindset of a person. 

Please be nice to people, you don’t know what is going on under the surface, behind that bubbly smile. 
Suicide and suicidal thoughts are very real problems that are not as outwardly shown as other things. The death of person simply because they have a chemical imbalance that tells them death is the better option than tirelessly fighting a losing battle. I don’t think we will ever completely eradicate suicide, but we can certainly make huge progress towards making it less common. 
Right now, I’m doing moderately okay. I’m not jumping for joy but I’m also not planning the route the bridge. 

Think before you speak – don’t be a dick – Week 2

Things that people who don’t understand say when you tell them about mental illness.  Maybe someone might read it and re-evaluate what they say to the next person who has taken the plunge to open up about their mental illness.

‘Oh, I felt a bit sad the other day too, I had a good cry and felt much better afterwards’

No. This is probably one of the biggest misconceptions of depression. It isn’t just feeling a bit sad. It’s an overwhelming feeling of everything and nothing all at once.

Emptiness, Sadness, Desperation, Fear, Panic, Anger, Sorrow, Guilt, Hopelessness, Exhaustion and a million other things too. All while feeling completely hollow and disconnected. A good cry won’t fix it. It might help alleviate some feelings, but you can’t just cry out depression – if you could, it wouldn’t be considered an illness.

I am sorry you felt sad the other day, but it really REALLY doesn’t quite compare to depression. Everyone experiences depression in different ways, yes there are many symptoms all people experience, but my sorrow is different to yours, MY fears are different to yours. It’s not about feeling a bit sad and crying it out.

 

If only it were…

Think before you speak. Don’t be a dick.

This is real life.

I am sat here in bed at almost 9am on a Sunday, crying at my microwave re-heated pizza.  

Oh accountability- I bought pizza. Yes I regret it, but I’m going to eat every slice of it even if it kills me. Maybe it will. That would be a sort of bitter sweet outcome. 

Hopelessness, and empty sadness is how I feel, but I’m still here. Still alive to feel all that shit. This is the part where I’m not so good at functioning. Yay me….😒