The good, the bad and the ugly..

When you live with a mental illness or two, you find that things ebb and flow. Like the pull of the moon on the ocean. 

 Certain things can lift your mood right up and other things drag it so far down. Many people struggle most with the latter. No one really likes a low mood, whether you’re ‘

depressed’ or not, but some people actually struggle with the lighter side of things.

 You see, having depression does funny things to your brain, you begin to think that you shouldn’t ever be feeling happy if you have depression. When you’re coming out of a low slump and feel that little burst of ‘today isn’t that bad’ it can make you feel like a fraud.

Like your diagnosis, ‘your label’ is the be all and end all of your existence and that you should always fit into that stereotype. 

When people say things like ‘you don’t look depressed’ it could be fatal. That person may already be at the end of their tether. Using all the spare energy they can muster to put on a brave face and go out that day and you’ve just crushed everything with 4 little words. 

If you know someone with depression, or someone opens up about their mental illness, try to think before you make a flippant remark. Try ‘how are you doing?’ Or ‘do you need anything?’ 

Those 4 words can make a difference for the better – this gives you one person that cares. One person that is there for you that day and sometimes that is all it takes to change the mindset of a person. 

Please be nice to people, you don’t know what is going on under the surface, behind that bubbly smile. 
Suicide and suicidal thoughts are very real problems that are not as outwardly shown as other things. The death of person simply because they have a chemical imbalance that tells them death is the better option than tirelessly fighting a losing battle. I don’t think we will ever completely eradicate suicide, but we can certainly make huge progress towards making it less common. 
Right now, I’m doing moderately okay. I’m not jumping for joy but I’m also not planning the route the bridge. 

Think before you speak. Don’t be a dick. – Week 1

Things that people who don’t understand say when you tell them about mental illness. There are so many, I am going to start this as a weekly feature. Maybe someone might read it and re-evaluate what they say to the next person who has taken the plunge to open up about their mental illness. 

I do have many things in my life to be grateful for. Do you know what? I am

It is possible to be depressed and still be grateful. 

To be angry and be grateful. 

To feel lonely and be grateful. 

To be scared and still be grateful. 

To feel exhaustion and STILL BE GRATEFUL. 

There is nothing more heartbreaking than opening up to someone and hearing anything along the lines of ‘but you have so much to be grateful for.’

Depression doesn’t work like that. I don’t know why I feel like I am slowly drowning in my own sorrow inside, why it hurts to be awake somedays and it feels like an achievement if I manage to get dressed. It just does. That doesn’t mean I am not grateful for the clothes I (don’t) wear or the food I (can’t) eat. The people I (can’t) talk to. It doesn’t mean I’m ungrateful. I’m just unwell. 

When you say something like that it makes people feel guilty. Guilty for being ill, for having something that they cannot control taking over their lives. 

Fuck, we feel bad enough as it is, without you strapping us into the guilt train for another ride into hell for the day/week. 

Think before you speak. Don’t be a dick.